Still waiting…

Listen, people who know me well know that I’m not a big fan of blogs. It’s not that I don’t read some blogs. I do. I get recipes from blogs, read inspiring stories, laugh, and generally enjoy many people’s amazingly talented blogs. What’s always bothered me about a blog is the idea behind it. It’s the same idea, I think, behind our selfie-culture. I don’t do selfies. Unless, of course, my amazing daughter happens to be in one. Then, no one is looking at me anyway. There is just something that seems so egotistical about taking a selfie (sorry to the 100% of you reading this that DO take selfies – I truly and genuinely mean no offense). There’s something about publishing my story, or sharing a picture of myself, that seems presumptuous to me. What’s so great about me that people would want to read my story? (Truly, nothing). It’s also vulnerable. I’m opening myself up to others’ critiques. And those who know me well will also know that I don’t take failure well. I might be a little bit of what some would call a perfectionist. And bear with me, because this will not be perfect. It will be messy, jumbled, and out-of-order. All of that said, I do have a story to tell. We all have a story to tell. The thing is – it’s not my story. It’s God’s story. His story that he’s been writing for a long time. His story that I’ve been so very, very fortunate to play a small role in. As I’m writing this, I’m awaiting our final decree of adoption that should be coming in the next couple of weeks. We’ve been working toward this for over two years. But now, I’m waiting for something that might actually come. Our paperwork is in. We’re at the finish line. Our daughter will, very soon (fingers crossed!!), officially share our last name. (And since I first wrote this, have hit a setback. It actually should have been coming any day. I’ve been checking the mail in anticipation daily. However, just an hour ago, I got off the phone with our caseworker and was informed that a document which our attorney thought was waived, was not. Yet one more document is needed.) As I reflect back on this process and what it has been like, and share bits and pieces with others, I’m in awe. God has been so good, so faithful, so patient. I’ve learned so much and been so incredibly, beyond belief lucky. It’s a story that people have told me I should write. And I resist. But I also feel a pull. So I’m giving into that tug on my heart to share God’s great story, for after all, what greater purpose are we on this earth for if not to witness to God’s great love for us? This is mainly for you, though, my sweet angel. We want you to know your story. To know that you were chosen, loved from the very beginning, and that we fought hard for you. Your mommy sometimes has a hard time expressing things verbally. There are times when I have something really important that I want to communicate, so I do it through a letter or email. Your daddy has gotten many. And if while writing this love letter to you, even one other person experiences hope, inspiration, or just feels less alone in their journey, then all the better. So, a blog it is. I’m a hypocrite, I KNOW! (Aren’t we all?). Please join me on this journey. 


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